Grandmother. You are forever in our heart.
Oct 1941 – Aug 22nd 2011
For the very first time I lost somebody who mean a lot to me.
I closed to her. I knew her since I was born, often met and lots of talk,
lots of things to argue and discuss.
She loved to knit and I used to watch her fast hand down through the thread.
She's my grandmother. My mother's mother.
It was a bad day and I already had a bad feeling about something went wrong.
And just like a storm in such a sunny day,
here came the call from my uncle.
Mom was on ICU on the hospital, and so the bad news about Grandmother had passed away shock us up to the throat.
With some serious meds supply for traveling and Doctor's warrant; Me, my father and my mother drove to the state where My grandmother lived (Also the same place where the funeral would be held )
It was 10 hours of driving, such a hard time for my mom because she was also on hospitalized for her ill,
I fake smile and laugh with dad, just to make mom strong. But mostly I turned my face to the empty road and cried,
cried because I still could not believe that Grandmother gone, and why it happened now, where my mom is on her low-condition because of her APS (Antiphospholipid syndrome – you may refer to here if you would )
meanwhile my brother kept texting me to monitor the condition. He was out of town, studying, and too bad the fastest flight-ticket he got was the next 7 days after the day.
So at 6 AM local-time Me and dad and mom arrived. Some relatives already there, some with long faces and some with strength to stand up.
The body of my grandmother was lying in the living room, silent. Not moving.
(According to local tradition, you have to keep the body until all the children/family gathered – before funeral.)
You know how was it feel?
For the first time I saw grandmother sleep with her smiling face,
So peaceful yet so delicate,
I cried and hold my self from shaking her shoulder and told her to wake up! Wake up granny, enough sleeping please wake up. Open your eyes.
But I know it useless. Grandmother already gone to a better place.
What broke my heart was seeing mom struggle beneath her own ill, and seeing granny like that. She cried, she touched granny’s face and whisper about things I couldn’t hear. My father was there too, holding mom from sudden collapse/worst condition – cried.
All the memories of Granny when she was still alive running in my brain,
Flash before my eyes,
Yes, I might be exaggerating a lot – but first cut is the deepest.
It’s the first time I lost.
So the past 2 weeks I spent time at Grandmother’s, no internet connection,
All drafts for my blog post were pending and out of date / OOT,
I know this kind of unnecessary but I just want to tell you what was behind the delay.
So yeah. Thank you for reading til this (mean you read a lot of crap I wrote)
Eugenia Clara Fendri